Who would have idea that a "short, stocky, irksome-witted, baldheaded man" would get one of the funniest sitcom icons in Television receiver history? Jason Alexander was robbed of an Emmy win multiple times while spending nine years playing Jerry Seinfeld'due south neurotic best friend George Costanza, a character known for his horrible bad luck and questionable life decisions. Fan adoration and massive critical acclaim continue to give credit where credit is due, withal.

Entertainment Weekly named George Costanza the third-best sidekick ever. Idiot box Guide named him the 10th greatest idiot box character of all time. Ricky Gervais called him "arguably the greatest sitcom character of all time." Information technology could have something to exercise with a hilarious writing squad that gave the character so many wonderful quotes throughout the years. This listing has been updated to showcase 15 of the most iconic throughout Seinfeld'due south amazing 9-year run.

Updated on January tenth, 2021 by Derek Draven: Every bit mentioned in a higher place, we've decided to add a few more quotes to this list for a grand full of 15. Each one showcases the mixture of writing and acting talent that helped bring George Costanza to life. Some of these quotes took identify in the moment, while others have links to the cultural and social dictionary. Seinfeld continues to run in heavy repeat syndication across multiple networks, giving existing audiences and new generations of viewers the chance to laugh forth at the hilarious misfortunes of one of comedy's nearly lively and energetic characters. Behold, the Lord of the Idiots in all his majesty.

15 "Squirrel? Well, Nosotros Have No Bargain With Them!"

George had been living by an unwritten code forged betwixt New Yorkers, and the pigeons that dwelt within. Pigeons got out of the style of cars, and New Yorkers looked the other mode on the statue defecations. Imagine his surprise when a group of pigeons refused to leave of the way, causing George to run them all over.

Already in the doghouse with his girlfriend considering of the incident, George took it upon himself to purposely swerve out of the way of a dove when they next rode together. Unfortunately, he failed to spot a nearby squirrel which he ran over instead.

14 "Y'all Should've Seen The Await On Her Face! It Was The Aforementioned Look My Father Gave Me When I Told Him I Wanted To Be A Ventriloquist!"

Desperate to impress a very intellectual adult female, George asked Elaine to have his I.Q. test for him so he could fake a skilful result. Unfortunately, a serial of mishaps acquired Elaine to mess the exam up and cause his score to plummet to an unimaginable 85.

George came back to Jerry's identify to confront Elaine on the disaster, uttering this hilarious quote that left audiences in stitches at the mental pictures. Luck, it seems, was never on George's side to begin with.

13 "Oh Noooooo! I'm So Sorry, It's The MOOPS! The Right Reply Is 'The Moops.'"

This quote comes courtesy of what some believe to be ane of the testify's most overrated episodes. George and Susan establish themselves on the doorstep of a beloved swain known affectionately equally "the Bubble Boy" by the local community, due to his need to stay in a protective bubble at all times. Unfortunately, the Bubble Boy was a complete jerk, and both he and George were like oil and h2o.

Later sitting down to play an unfriendly game of trivial pursuit, George became irate that he was losing. A adventure moment to become revenge came when George pulled a carte du jour request who invaded Spain during the 8th century. The Bubble Boy correctly answered "the Moors," but George was all-too-happy to accept advantage of a misprint on the card which read "Moops," instead.

12 "You're Giving ME The 'Information technology's Non You lot, Information technology's Me' Routine? I INVENTED 'It'south Not Yous, It'southward Me'!"

George was such a loser that he actually took pride in being dumped. An example occurred when his frustrated girlfriend broke up with him past giving him the classic "information technology'south not you, it's me" line. Then insulted was George that he came down hard on her for daring to use an excuse he himself had used so many times before.

Unwilling to be lied to, George insisted that information technology wasn't in fact her but himself who was the problem. When she finally acknowledged that it was, in fact, George, he replied "You're damn correct it's me!"

xi "I'm Disturbed, I'm Depressed, I'one thousand Inadequate – I've Got Information technology All!"

George Costanza has gone to great lengths on many occasions to convince women that he's a normal, well-adjusted guy in order to go dates, but the one fourth dimension he really managed information technology, she turned out to exist more interested in the kind of depressed loser that he actually was in his everyday life.

Realizing that Jerry's fun-loving comedy persona was a major hit with the ladies, George forced him to deed like a depressed killjoy in club to make himself await amend. The programme backfired when George'due south date found herself incredibly attracted to Jerry'due south dark and disturbed false persona. Panicking, George shouted this quote in a desperate effort to convince her that he was really the disturbed and depressed i.

10 "Oh, No, Thanks. I Can't Drink Coffee Belatedly At Night. It Keeps Me Up."

The season 2 episode "The Telephone Bulletin" plant an angry George leaving a series of irate messages on a woman's answering car subsequently she stopped returning his calls. Unfortunately, he failed to realize she was on vacation at the time. His next program is to erase the tape before she gets a chance to hear it, to hilarious effect.

It all started when she invited George up for java, to which he replied with this quote. It didn't take long for him to realize his mistake. "She invites me up at twelve o'clock at night, for java, and I don't go upwards. 'No, thanks. I don't want java. It keeps me upward. Also tardily for me to drink coffee.' I said this to her. People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live."

9 "We Have Watched You Take Our Beloved Yankees And Reduce Them To A Laughing Stock!"

In the hilarious and iconic episode "The Opposite," George decides to do the reverse of every one of his natural bumbling instincts. When he interviews for a job at the Yankees and meets George Steinbrenner, he launches into a rant that would ordinarily tank anyone else'southward employment chances. George pulls no punches as he tells Steinbrenner exactly what's on his mind.

Patently, the opposite movement turned out to the be right one after Steinbrenner replied "Hire this human!" It was however another goal for George'southward win streak up to that signal. What a shame it wouldn't last long earlier he went back to his erstwhile neurotic cocky.

eight "I Know I'm Not Cartwright!"

The network executives initially weren't sure well-nigh season ii's "The Chinese Restaurant" episode, but it would later become one of Seinfeld'southward nigh memorable. Certain, it's just about the characters waiting for a table in a restaurant, simply that'southward par for the course on a show about nothing. While waiting for a telephone call from a woman, the waiter at the restaurant informs him that she had called and asked for "Costanza," but he replied "Cartwright" instead.

What follows is a hilarious exchange between George and Jerry talking about the waiter who answered the phone and called out the proper noun Cartwright. Jerry asks, "Who's Cartwright?" George says, "I'm Cartwright." Jerry says, "You're not Cartwright." Finally, George cries out, "I know I'm not Cartwright!" in truthful Abbott and Costello fashion.

7 "Was That Incorrect? Should I Not Have Done That?"

In the episode "The Red Dot," George a job at the aforementioned office Elaine works at. Within a few days, he decides to accept sex with the cleaning adult female on top of his ain desk in 1 of the bear witness's almost questionable dating choices. A series of unfortunate events leads her to spill the beans to George's new boss, Mr. Lippman.

Realizing he's virtually to exist fired, George goes for broke with this quote earlier adding, "I tell ya, I gotta' plead ignorance on this matter, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I offset started hither, that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know...'cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you, people exercise that all the fourth dimension!"What comes next is no surprise.

6 "It's Not A Prevarication If Yous Believe It."

George Costanza is a chief fibber, only he finds it difficult to proceed upwards and choreograph his deceits when other people are involved. For case, Susan ends up thinking George is having an affair because Elaine couldn't get the lie near what they were really doing straight.

When Jerry took a lie detector test after his policewoman girlfriend refused to believe he'd never seen an episode of Melrose Place, George realized he couldn't teach him how to lie. He did, nevertheless, offer him 1 fantastically immoral snippet of wisdom: "It's not a prevarication if y'all believe it!"

five "The Bounding main Was Angry That Day, My Friends! Like An Old Man Trying To Transport Back Soup In A Deli!"

The whole monologue at the end of "The Marine Biologist" is a archetype moment that is delivered brilliantly by Jason Alexander. Information technology all starts when Jerry makes the hilarious error of conjuring up a false story about George in gild to print an quondam school flame that involves him existence (of all things) a Marine Biologist.

Naturally, George's bad luck comes calling when they stumble across a crowd of people surrounding a beached whale. Information technology'south upwards to "Marine Biologist" George Costanza to relieve the day. Although his would-be girlfriend tells him to "go to Hell" after learning about the prevarication, George was left with the mother of all fish stories to wow his friends with.

4 "Worlds Are Colliding!"

Anyone who has e'er been in a long-term human relationship can relate to George's "Worlds are colliding!" theory. 1'due south circle of friends and partner seem completely separate, and if they're together in the same room, it tin can be awkward. Information technology really is like worlds are colliding – a perfectly apt metaphor.

It'southward fifty-fifty worse if worlds are colliding in a good way, such as when Elaine and Susan become pals. If Susan joined George's friendship group and started hanging around with Jerry and Elaine, "human relationship George" would accept had to merge with "independent George," leading to the demise of the latter.

iii "But You Are, Blanche! You Are In The Shackles!"

In the episode "The Airport," every bit George gets to the concluding magazine on the shelf before a bedevilled criminal (who is photographed on the cover), he channels Bette Davis in the picture show What Ever Happened to Infant Jane?. In the pic, there's a moment where Blanche tells Jane, "You lot wouldn't be able to practice these awful things to me if I weren't nonetheless in this chair," and Jane gleefully replies, "But you are, Blanche! You are in that chair!"

Similarly, the criminal tells George, "If I wasn't in these shackles..." and George – in the aforementioned gleeful tone as Davis' Jane – replies, "But y'all are, Blanche! You lot are in the shackles!"

two "Oh Aye? Well, The Jerk Store Called. They're Running Out Of You lot!"

Everyone tin can relate to George in the season viii episode "The Improvement." After existence insulted by a co-worker for his ravenous devouring of all the shrimp in the meeting, he struggles to devise the perfect comeback for their next fateful encounter.

Eventually, he settles on "Oh, yeah? Well, the wiggle store called. They're running out of yous!" Non only is it a weak comeback, but information technology's pummeled into submission by his nemesis' next answer which completely deflates what trivial impact it had to brainstorm with, leaving George feeling more humiliated than ever.

1 "Please, A Trivial Respect, For I Am Costanza, Lord Of The Idiots."

In an early episode of Seinfeld, George tries out a social experiment by wearing a wedding ceremony ring to see if it makes him more than approachable to women. He ends upward missing out on a friends-with-benefits situation, plus courtside seats to every sporting event at Madison Foursquare Garden. Throughout the episode, Jerry and George have been arguing over who's the bigger idiot.

This is one of the quotes that led Mike Costanza – Jerry Seinfeld's former friend who the character was named later – to sue NBC and claim that his name had been slandered by beingness depicted as, amongst other things, the "lord of the idiots." Ouch.

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About The Writer

Ben Sherlock (3538 Articles Published)

Ben Sherlock is a writer, comedian, independent filmmaker, and Burt Reynolds enthusiast. He writes lists for Screen Bluster and features and reviews for Game Rant. He'south currently in pre-product on his beginning feature (and has been for a while, considering filmmaking is expensive). You can catch him performing standup at odd pubs around the United kingdom that will give him stage time. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop.

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